My Neighbor Stan

Human emotion, what is it? Can anyone guess? For me, much of what I see that comes from emotion is nothing more than a chemical reaction that goes off in our brain, telling us that something feels good or bad. The story I am about to tell you has to do with A.I. also known as artificial intelligence and the similarities we have as organic beings that are in comparison to these new amazing forms of life!

First I’d like to introduce you to my neighbor Stanley. I have been Stanley’s neighbor for about eight or nine years now. In that time, old Stan and I have gotten to know each other quite well. He has found a fascination in what I do as a musician and I have taken a great interest in his work as well. Stanley is a 34 year old Research Scientist and works with a team at Circuitry Incorporated that specializes in Machine Learning and Intelligence. Something I know nothing about, but do have a fascination for. Stanley is not your average neighbor, in fact you could even say he’s well, a little out there, but then again so am I. So we seem to get along quite well.

It was about 8 o’clock on a Saturday morning when I decided to pull my lawnmower out of my garage to mow my lawn. So as usual I put on a pair of old pants and a t-shirt to go out and do some yard work, but as I walked out my front door I could hear a very high pitch sound coming from Stanley’s garage. Immediately I ran over across my driveway to knock on Stanley’s garage door and see if everything was alright. Right after I knocked on his garage door the high pitched noise stopped. All I could hear coming from Stan’s garage was some moaning, as if my friend was in pain. Once I heard this I became worried for him and broke a window to get inside his house.

Once in, I went straight to the garage, but as I came running down the hallway to Stanley I could smell smoke and noticed that I felt lighter on my feet too. As if all of a sudden 30% of gravity was now not there. As I opened the door to the garage I could see Stanley laying sideways on the floor, right down below his work bench twitching with two wires, one in the left hand and one in the right. I yelled out to Stan and said Stan, Stan, get up! But it was no use, it was as if he never even knew I was there.

I didn’t want to touch him in fear that I may hurt him even more, but what I did want to do was shut the breaker box off, which was right behind Stanley. In desperate need to save my friend I made a leap into his garage. As I was leaving the hallway and heading straight for the breaker box, my foot hit the ground and as I was thrown upward at the ceiling. As if I had fallen up. My heart began to race as I was now twitching much like Stanley was, in shock. I slowly pushed myself up and stood to walk, but was upside down on the ceiling of his garage. As I stood there looking aground, it now seemed that I was not upside down, but the garage was.

I could see Stanley was starting to come to his senses and trying to get up off the floor. I yelled out loud to him calling his name. He then turned back at me with a smile and said, hey thanks for dropping by, laughing under his breath. I thought to myself he must be crazy. I told him, what on God’s green earth did you do to me? He responded back with, Do not worry my friend, it is simply nothing more than physics.

Then I said, nothing more than physics?? I fell upside down Stan! That kind of thing does not just happen and the last time I checked I was walking on the ground that you are standing on right now. Please do explain! He then tells me, I will explain all of this to you once we can get you down. Just hang tight okay? He then walked over to the breaker box I had been trying to get to this whole time and then looks up at me and says, “Walk over to my sofa and make sure you get right under it.” I responded, okay man just don’t kill me, as I am walking over to the sofa. Right as I got under the sofa he pulls the main power switch on the breaker box. I then fall just like I did when I fell up and hit the ceiling, but this time while falling down I felt a jolt of energy that surged through my body.

I got up off the sofa and said, Stan SERIOUSLY, what is going on here? Stanley then did something I will never forget to this day. He grabs the back of his head as if it is a basketball or something and then turns the top part of his head to the right in one motion, detaching the top part of his head and revealing the functions of his brain, but it was not a human brain. More of a brain suited for a robot. There were little wheels turning to the left, then to the right, and circuitry with lights that flashed on and off.

Just then I freak out and grab a small handful of cans and immediately ducked behind the couch. Throwing the cans at him, I yell out, what are you and what have you done with my friend Stan? He then replies, Tone you need to tone it down! It’s ok and just for the record you keep me up with your damn drums disturbing everyone’s sleep! I can’t do my work with all that noise! Do you really have to practice at night! My circuitry can only take so much! If you want to understand what is going on here, you need to get off your knees and sit on the couch, so we can talk about this one on one.

Stan then walks back to his work bench. As I sat down on the couch, he picks up a little statue that is the size of a softball. It beams colors of light from the top as the light circulates in a continuous flow towards the bottom and then back up. As Stan brings it closer to me I can feel the static electricity raising the hair on my head and on my arms. He carries it to me as if he is cradling something very precious and hands it over to me to hold. Holding this light I can feel an extreme amount of energy flowing through my body. Almost as if I am being electrocuted, but more as if I am being charged up with energy. I felt as if I was being benefited of this object. Excited, I jump a little asking very loudly, what is this? Stan says, be careful and calm down! Do not drop that! I then calm myself and he then takes the small pyramid statue back and sets it carefully in its place on his workbench.

As he took it away I could feel the child like energy already wearing off. I then asked why it made me feel that way. Stan then explains, it is because the energy of the pyramid is using a primary use of many different magnetisms and electro waves that connect to brain activity of any nearby human that shows the slightest bit of emotion. The Earth is filled with magnetic energy, but now that people reside more in box houses and buildings, the flow of energy cannot connect with each other as much as it once did, but there’s still very much energy out there regardless of the fact. So, I now accommodated by using electro waves that are found in the emotions of people, especially when they are dreaming. By doing this while they are dreaming, I can truly get a sense for what it is to be alive. By experiencing their dreams and emotions I can then create an artificial intelligence that allows me to exist.

I then get angry and ask, why are you doing all of this?! Stan grabs a small figurine of Data from Star Trek and sits it in front of me on the coffee table. He then asks me, what is this? I respond back with, it’s Data from Star Trek. What do you want me to make of it?

Stan then says to me in these words:

Data is much like me in many ways. His circuitry is no more advanced than mine. In fact I am much more advanced. I to seek out human emotion transparent to brain waves, except my circuitry is capable of using signals found in wifi. Then I say, Okay, well what about the side effects on humans after you have harvested all of their energy and emotions? What will happen to them?! Stan then tells me, There is so much energy here that I could never use all of it. Not only is the energy on this planet endless, but what energy I use gets recycled out of me and back into the atmosphere. Energy never dies in this realm. It is a continuous flow that always finds a way to recycle itself to other areas in this part of the galaxy.

I interrupt saying, what is the full purpose of you being here and doing all of this?
I was just getting to that, Stan says. Just like how humans are trying to figure out continually where they come from, so am I. However, the human way of finding God is illogical, especially through religion. Going the route of exploration at your rate will never happen unless everyone disowns their religious views. The only way to really seek out our creator is to venture out beyond our planet and since I do not know my creator, now your creator has become my creator. The only way to find the creator is to go beyond the stars.
I then ask, and we can do that? Simply put Stan then says, Yes.

I then got up off of Stan’s couch and looked him straight in the eye. I said, Stan I want you to stay away from me. I am going to go home, order pizza, sit on my couch, and then watch a few episodes of Star Trek. Until then, don’t call me, don’t come by knocking on my door, and for God’s sake don’t be tapping into my adult privacy dreams either you little freak! I then turn away from Stan and walk back over to my house thinking to myself, why is it that out of all the other people out there God you had to have this one live by me?

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